K and N: My son's friends

Our seven year old has two friends that come visit after school several times a week. One of them, let's call him "K", lives with his mother in the same building as us and my wife and her chat sometimes. He's a natural leader and has character for miles. This kid will simply not be put off by anyone or anything. He's fearless and also ridiculously short. About 10" shorter than our son. He embodies the "small dog syndrome" like a rat terrier on attitude and spunk steroids.

When our son first started attending his school, my wife or I would go pick him up. The first two weeks, we would get him at his classroom, then the school gate, then the corner. After a month or two of this, K volunteered to bring him home. He even told my wife he would make sure he would get here safe!

Sometimes, K goes to after school care but sometimes he comes to our home and hangs out for a couple of hours. He has his own house key but if it wasn't for our son, he would be home alone. Other times he comes and asks if our boy can go hang out at his place and I allow him.

Right before the winter school break, K brought over another little boy to play. He is just as short as K. We'll call him N.

N is nine years old and in the third grade, two years older than our son and K. He lives in one of the public housing buildings across the street, always wears the same red sweatshirt with a skull print on it and smells like Tide laundry detergent. He also always wears his uniform pants. He likes to speak English but only knows a dozen words or so. He lives with his mom and 11 year old sister. We don't know his mom yet and he told me that she doesn't get off work until after 8:30.

N is super smart. Sometime he rings the doorbell from downstairs and tells me in English: "This is K. Please open". He normally goes home first, does his homework and then comes over to play. He likes my son's Nintendo DS and is not as active as the two other boys. He's curious and always wants to know what I'm doing or if I'm watching TV he sits next to me and watches even if it's in English.

N is also hungry.

When the kids get home, I always give them a snack. But N always wants more. Sometimes he puts the snack in his pocket for later. Yesterday, when he rang the doorbell. the first thing he told me was that he was hungry. Then he rattled off a paragraph in Japanese that I couldn't understand, but he had tears in his eyes. He was ashamed of asking for food. The school has lunch, so I know he eats there.

During one of the few nice days in January, my wife took N and our son to the park one Saturday. Japan is safe enough that all the kids go by themselves, but because of our son's ADHD, we go with him to make sure he doesn't lose control. She sat on a bench and let the boys play but some older boys started roughing N up. Our son stood up for his friend but the other boys laughed at him and that sent him into a fit that caught my wife's attention. That's when she discovered that N is also being bullied. I wouldn't be surprised those older boys are stealing his lunch.

I don't think there's abuse at home. He doesn't have bruises and both N and his sister are healthy and happy looking. I think the main issue at home is poverty and bullying at the park and possibly at school. I feel like I need to observe and gather information from him and also learn how these things are addressed here.

In the meantime, both N and K have a safe place to hang out, play and eat. A place they don't need to feel ashamed to ask for food and will not get pushed around.